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Anger and Hate

Be careful with hatred. Handle hatred with respect.

Hatred is too noble an emotion to be frittered away in little personal animosities.

Whereas love is of itself a reward and an object worth striving for, personal hatred has no triumphs that are not trivial, secondary and human.

Therefore love as foolishly as you may.

But hate only after long and ardent deliberation.

Hatred is a passion requiring one hundred times the energy of love.

Keep it for a cause, not an individual.

Keep it for intolerance, injustice, stupidity.

For hatred is the strength of the sensitive.

Its power and its greatness depend on the selflessness of its use.

Olive Moore, Collective Writings

Anger and Hate
by Kenneth Cloke

Anger can be defined as the path of least
resistance taken by shame between rage and silent suffering.

There are many ways of controlling it, among which are the following:

Your Own:

  • Own it.
  • Don't blame anyone else for it.
  • Discover the underlying reasons for it.
  • Share your feelings and perceptions non-judgmentally.
  • Ask questions to discover whether your perceptions are accurate.
  • Focus on solving the problem rather than blaming.
  • Ask yourself what it would take to forgive the other person.

    Someone Else's:

    • Acknowledge their feelings.
    • Avoid responding defensively.
    • Ask open-ended questions.
    • Ask clarifying questions.
    • Summarize.
    • Respond using "I" statements.
    • Clarify expectations.
    • Re-negotiate the relationship.

    Anger and HateAnger and Hate

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